Tag: Friday Funny

Friday Funny

In honor of the 
STOP, GO, Quilt, Sew book tour
last week I thought my Friday Funny
could be full of irreverent  signs.

Are your preachers named after alcohol? That is how we do it in the south.

I love this one!

This one applies to all of us going through the drought stricken areas across the country.

And this is my favorite, Look close….
see the alligators on the side of the road.
Have a great weekend,

Friday Funny

My husband sent me this one.
I know he could have titled it
 dumb blonde joke
becasue there was a picture of a blonde that came along with the joke.
However he was too kind and instead titled it…..
The longest password ever

During a recent password audit by a company, it was found that an employee was using the following password:


When asked why she had such a long password, she rolled her eyes and said:

“Hello! It has to be at least 8 characters and include at least one capital.”
Whether you are blonde or not, don’t you just hate keeping up with passwords?
Have a great weekend.
-blonde modalissa

Friday Funny

Recently I attended my family reunion. we were all talking about my Aunt Bobbie who recently lost her battle with cancer. Bobbie was famous in our family for creating her own take on famous phrases, such as the fruit doesn’t fall far from the stump. We then realized that many of us do the same thing. I came across
PARAPROSDOKIANS which reminded me of my dear Aunt Bobbie and thought I would share these.
(Winston Churchill loved them.)
Here is the definition: “A figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation.”
“Where there’s a will, I want to be in it,” is a type of paraprosdokian.
1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on my list.
3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right – only who is left..
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good Evening,’ and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, ‘In case of emergency, notify:’ I put ‘DOCTOR.’
13. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
18. Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
19. There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away.
20. I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure.
21. You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
22. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
23. Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
25. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
26. Where there’s a will, there’s relatives.
Have a super great weekend.

Friday Funny

out of the mouths of babes….

Why did God make mothers?

1. She’s the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.

2. Mostly to clean the house..

3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?

1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.

2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.

3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?

1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.

2. They had to get their start from men’s bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and
not some other mom?

1. We’re related.


2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people’s mom like me.

What kind of a little girl was your mom?

1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.

2. I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.

3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before
she married him?

1. His last name.

2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?

3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?

1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.

2. She got too old to do anything else with him.

3. My grandma says that mom didn’t have her thinking cap on.

Who’s the boss at your house?

1. Mom doesn’t want to be boss, but she has to because dad’s such a goof ball.

2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.

3. I guess mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What’s the difference between moms and dads?

1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.

2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.

3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power ’cause that’s who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.

4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?

1. Mothers don’t do spare time.

2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?

1. On the inside she’s already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.

2. Diet. You know, her hair. I’d diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom,
what would it be?

1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I’d get rid of that.

2. I’d make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me.

3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
Have a great weekend. This is post is in honor of the most perfect Mom & Dad ever, MINE.

Friday Funny

Happy Friday to all.

I wanted to share a joke that my husband sent me. It kind of reminds me of what my mom would have said.

So here go……

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his beautiful, blond, female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.

She opened it, looked inside, slammed it shut, and stormed back into her house.

A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox, again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came again. She marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions, the man asked her, “Is something wrong?”

To which she replied, “There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps telling me I’ve got mail!”

I hope everyone has a good weekend and a fantastic Father’s Day.

Friday Funny

In last Friday’s post I told you how old I am so I am not keeping any secrets. I am not going to ask your age because that is not how I roll. You’d probably fib anyway-but the Hershey Man will know!
This is delightfully tasty especially if you are a chocolate lover like I am.

It takes less than a minute .

Work this out as you read .

Be sure you don’t read the bottom until you’ve worked it out!

This is not one of those waste of time things, it’s bewildering and amazing.

1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate (more than once but less than 10)

2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)

3. Add 5

4. Multiply it by 50 — I’ll wait while you get the calculator

5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1762 ..

If you haven’t, add 1761..

6… Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.

You should have a three digit number

The first digit of this was your original number

(i.e., how many times you want to have chocolate each week).

The next two numbers are

YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it is!!!!!)

Then enjoy as much Chocolate as you want.
Feel free to leave a comment with either your age or how many pieces of chocolate you get to consume.
No one will judge or try and figure which number is which. Trust Me.

Friday Funny- It’s a quickie

happy Friday to all,

 Today I wanted to share this video from my talented, creative son. I know it was him because I see the muscle milk in the picture and he was probably on the way to the gym.
I have been slowly moving my sewing room back into a bedroom that was inhabited by daughter. It is a work in progress and I was not ready to show it to the world BUT then my son found this APP, made a movie and sent it.

I couldn’t embed the movie, so here is a link.

The app is Action Movie FX by Bad Robot Interactive. The free app is enough to keep you entertained and amuse your family with missile attacks,  car smashes, and demolition rocks. Of course there are more features for a price.

Do you need a new car, send your husband a video using car smashes. Need a new machine, copy what my son did to my machine. The possibilities are endless and quite therapeutic. Imagine the fun to demolition your house instead of cleaning it. Right? How about sending a missle to that pile of laundry?

have fun with the app and have a great weekend.