Friday Funny

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One of the titles for a future blog post WAS going to be  acroynms for quilting and texting.
Then my friend Gene sent me this and thought it was perfect for my Friday Funny.

Since more and more Seniors are texting and tweeting there appears to be a need for a STC (Senior Texting Code).

If you qualify for Senior Discounts this is the code for you.
ATD:
At The Doctor’s
BFF:
Best Friend Farted
BTW:
 Bring The Wheelchair
BYOT:
 Bring Your Own Teeth
CBM:
Covered By Medicare
CUATSC:
See You At The Senior Center
DWI:
Driving While Incontinent
FWB:
Friend With Beta Blockers
FWIW:
 Forgot Where I Was
FYI:
Found Your Insulin
GGPBL:
Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low!
GHA:
Got Heartburn Again
HGBM:
Had Good BM
IMHO:
 Is My Hearing-Aid On?
LMDO:
Laughing My Dentures Out
LOL:
Living On Lipitor
LWO:
 Lawrence Welk’s On
OMMR:
On My Massage Recliner
OMSG:
Oh My! Sorry, Gas.
SGGP:
Sorry, Gotta Go P
TTYL:
 Talk To You Louder
WAITT:
Who Am I Talking To?
WTFA:
Wet The Furniture Again
WTP:
Where’s The Prunes?
WWNO:
Walker Wheels Need Oil
These are great no matter how you old.  Afterall don’t we all have those senior moments?
I hope you never are-
ROFL…. CGU:
Rolling On The Floor Laughing… And Can’t Get Up

Feel free to add any codes you feel are missing, so we can keep the list updated.
GLKI (Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In)

Hard to get a good picture

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All I wanted was to “re-create” this picture from 1996
“Peas on Earth”

Bo is holding a can of peas sitting on top of a globe. Clever?!

At the time all of my kids lived at home, none of them worked, no one drove or at  least legally they didn’t.
14 years later and some things have changed. They all live here in Dallas so I see them alot. That is nice except for the fact they all have a life and I have to work around “THEIR” schedule. Some of them work, and some are always looking for a job. They all drive which makes them all quite mobile.

The plan was easy. Cook, then spread the word and they would all magically appear for some grub and a photo op. My daughter had other plans- a Dallas Cowboy game watching party- so we had to quickly call the troops and rearrange the plans.

Grant and Bo
It was sunny, cold and windy so we had to work fast.  The oldest and the youngest have to
quote lines from every movie ever seen before getting in their position.
Oops, everyone in the shot but too much sun! Re-group …
Travis– musician and the family dog whisperer.
(Kobie will not be in any other pictures- he had enough)
Grant
Remember we were going to re enact the “Peas on Earth” card but Grant thought the peace logo made a better steering wheel for his big Texas truck. Grant brought along his girl friend, Misty to be the official photographer.
Misty decided to add some other props to our picture to make everyone “Behave.”
R to L: Travis, Jarrod, Jillian, Grant, Bo.
Quick funny story. I call the boys my set of bookends. Grant and Jarrod are 21 months apart. Travis and Bo and 21 months apart. And their sister Jillian is right in the middle of the bookends. I went into labor on my husband’s 30th birthday with her. She was born the next day.

The older kid in each set (Grant and Travis) both have September birthdays, 10 days apart.
The younger kid in each set ( Jarrod and Bo) both have July birthdays, 10 days apart.
They are such a great study for birth order. The Birth Order book by Kevin Leman is a fantastic book. I highly recommend it. When I teach quilting classes I can guess what birth order the students are.

me and DB
(they call him dancing bear!)
Travis is holding Jarrod’s puppy, Chunk. Jarrod is selling him so we won’t
name him. We have named him so he may have to stay.

probably my favorite picture because it shows each of the kids personalities
and then back to the props for a game of tug of war!

Pictures were taken last weekend, but  breaking news in our family is that Grant asked Misty to marry him this weekend.
She said YES! 
 What a wonderful Christmas gift for entire family. 
I won’t be the only Kansas Girl anymore! I love it!

My Great Anne

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I have a great aunt on my father’s side. When I was young, she would come and stay when my parents would go out of town. My parents rarely went on a trip, so the sheer fact that these times are so memorable, speaks volumes for Anne’s uniqueness.  She was full of energy and seemed to easily keep up with my 2 rambunctious brothers, my boy crazy sister and myself, the angel.

Her cooking was, how shall I say, “Lumpy?” One of my biggest fears is to have my mashed potatoes compared to Anne’s at any family gathering! She would mash the darnedest things and add them to pancakes. You know, Waste not, Want not….

Anne would never inconvenience anyone. Not even to phone home to check in with her family in Temple, Texas. She would walk to the 7-11 to use the pay phone, just so my mom and dad would not have to pay the charges. (I wonder if Anne has a cell phone, now?)

I have always thought Anne was one of the smartest women I have ever met, in her own unique way.
Looking back, she did say some ODD things. In her energetic voice, she would say, 
“My oh my, time sure goes by faster as you get older.”

 Now, I will tell you I am a natural blond and often live up to the reputation that brings. But seriously, I would scratch my head and look at the clock T I C K  T O C K.  The clocked looked like it was moving at the same speed for me at 9 years old as it was for her at 59. I literally thought she was cuckoo.
Now that I am closer to 59 than 9, I see what Annie meant. How does that darn clock move so much faster now than it did before?………especially during the holiday season?

I thought I would share this 2 part video as my FRIDAY FUNNY  in honor of my great aunt Anne.

Just think how great it would be to SLOW DOWN the hands of time.
(disclaimer- you only need to watch the first bit of this one to get the point. Then it starts to get creepy and remind me of an old drunk uncle- not mine of course)

I hope you have a wonderful Friday and that you are able to slow down and laugh out loud!!

-lissa

6 degrees of separation

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Bear with me for a bit of factual information courtesy of the world wide web.

Six degrees of separation is the theory that anyone on the planet can be connected to any other person on the planet through a chain of acquaintances that has no more than five intermediaries. The theory was first proposed in 1929 by the Hungarian writer Frigyes Karinthy in a short story called “Chains.”

In 1967, American sociologist Stanley Milgram devised a new way to test the theory, which he called “the small-world problem.” He randomly selected people in the mid-West to send packages to a stranger located in Massachusetts. The senders knew the recipient’s name, occupation, and general location. They were instructed to send the package to a person they knew on a first-name basis who they thought was most likely, out of all their friends, to know the target personally. That person would do the same, and so on, until the package was personally delivered to its target recipient. Although the participants expected the chain to include at least a hundred intermediaries, it only took (on average) between five and seven intermediaries to get each package delivered.

Six degrees of separation became an accepted notion in pop culture after Brett C. Tjaden published a computer game on the University of Virginia’s Web site based on the small-world problem. Tjaden used the Internet Movie Database (IMDB) to document connections between different actors. Time Magazine called his site, The Oracle of Bacon at Virginia, one of the “Ten Best Web Sites of 1996.”In 2001, Duncan Watts, a professor at Columbia University, continued his own earlier research into the phenomenon and recreated Milgram’s experiment on the Internet. Watts used an e-mail message as the “package” that needed to be delivered, and surprisingly, after reviewing the data collected by 48,000 senders and 19 targets (in 157 countries), Watts found that the average number of intermediaries was indeed, six. Watts’ research, and the advent of the computer age, has opened up new areas of inquiry related to six degrees of separation in diverse areas of network theory such as as power grid analysis, disease transmission, graph theory, corporate communication, and computer circuitry.

Okay, now that you did some learning, here is the fun part.

If you do not believe any of the above scientific information, check out  this site. Enter any stars name and it will tell you how that star is connected to Kevin Bacon in 6 “steps”or less.
I gave it a try and plugged in Antonio Banderas. ( My mom thinks he is sexy!)

Let me know who you choose and how many degrees.

The funny thing is that over 80 years from when Frigyes Karinthy first wrote his short story,”Chains”, little did he know of the Social Media Revolution of 2010. They say that with Facebook, Twitter, Linked In, etc. the separation gap has actually closed to 3 degrees.

It actually happened to me today at work. I met a NEW FRIEND that is related to an OLD FRIEND. I will tell you about this in May. But in the meantime, watch this great Kevin Bacon commercial to further prove my point. On a side note, is he embroidering?! Enjoy!

ADDITIONAL INFO TO BLOG POST:
I recieved the following e-mail from Kate Spain this morning.
I asked her if I could share this with you. Small world!
That “6 degrees” theory is totally amazing! Can’t wait to learn what your new friend/old friend connection is! So I went to the Oracle of Bacon site…and this is kind of funny…my Dad had a teenie weenie part in a movie called “Eight Men Out”…so just for kicks, I typed my Dad’s name in there and look what turned up!! -Kate

So Kate’s father is 2 degrees from Kevin Bacon also.
What fun! Thanks Kate for adding to my mindless entertainment.

26 Truths For Mature Humans

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32 Truths For Mature Humans
(no matter what your age)

1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing is worse than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. (usually the moment you open Facebook, Flickr,or any other social media site.)

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray discs? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.

13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this – ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run
away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
17. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

20. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.
21. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.
22. I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

23. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?

24. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

25. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber and dumber every year?

26. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 4 feet away, in about 1.9 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

Inspiration

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 Where do you find your inspiration?
 In September at the Creative Connection, I attended a luncheon where
Ree Drummond was the speaker. She told a story of when she first started blogging.
She created the blog to keep her mom up to date with the kids.
A few days later she received a comment. Ree said, “Mom, is that you?” 
 She started the blog because she loves doing it, not for the qty of comments
or readers. That all just happened on it’s own.
Ree was incredibly inspirational and she does what she loves every day.
This is a woman that is famous and probably does not even know it.
Pioneer Woman has over thousands of followers,
so a few more people than just her mom are keeping up with the kids.
 I have (had) some what of an identity crisis when it comes to my blog. 
Unlike Ree, I do not blog for my mom to keep up with the kids. She calls me and tells
me she cannot get this “rat” to work.
“Mom, it is a mouse, not a rat!”
So she is not going to be sitting at the computer much.
I struggle with who would want to read what I have to say. I can’t spell. I write like I talk which ultimately creates run on sentences. Ree told us that if she doesn’t have anything to say,
 she takes a picture of her pantry and blogs about it.
She takes a picture of a shirt that has been in her closet forever that
she never wears. Just go out and do it!
Another person was at Creative Connection that shall remain
nameless
was a huge inspiration to me. I like to call her my personal life coach- You know who you are!
This post is a shout out to her, because I think of her every time I post.
 OTHER SOURCES OF INSPIRATION
Do you know what Flickr is? It is a photo sharing site.
Pictures can be uploaded, shared, linked and more.
Many bloggers store their pictures on Flickr and upload the pictures to their blog.
I found a cool site that searches Flickr for you.
I did a search on Moda Quilts which brought back 390 pictures.
When I searched moda quilt, (not plural) it brought back 2,631 wonderful pictures of creative work.
Need Inspiration, search for your favorite topic and leave me a comment on what you searched for. I would love to see what topic inspires you.
Do you know of other cool tools like this?
Since my personal coach (you know who you are!) has motivated me to blog more. That she actually likes hearing whatever random thing I have to say, I will have to raise the bar just because!

Thanks Coach!

Jelly Roll Dream Challenge

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Did you know… you could win $5000 of prize money
■FIRST PRIZE is $2,500 and a JANOME Horizon MC7700QCP sewing machine.

■SECOND PRIZE is $1,500 and a JANOME MC4900QC sewing machine.

■THIRD PRIZE is $1,000 and a JANOME JP760 sewing machine.
Just for making a quilt from Moda Jelly Rolls?
Here are some of the rules from the website:
 Design and make a quilt making the best use of a jelly roll. Moda jelly rolls are available in most quilt stores plus it is also permissible to use strip rolls from other companies or you may cut your own forty 2½inx 42in strips. Additional background and border fabric is allowed up to a combined quantity of 3 yards (2.75 metres). Rotary cutting quilting rulers and squares and any specialty tools may be used. Any tools you use must be clearly stated in your instructions and must be readily available. You do not have to do any quilting as the longarm quilting and finishing of your quilt is part of the prize for the lucky twelve winners.
(Did you read that? No quilting. You could enter several times since it is only quilt tops! WOWZER) Submit your entry form along with a maximum of five photographs of your patchwork top with notes and instructions on how to make it as well as your entry fee of $25 (or UK£15). You can do this via the website by clicking here or sending your entry form and photos to us via post (addresses below) before the 1st June 2011.
Put 31st July 2011 in your diary (calender) to find out if you’re a finalist!
To see all of the details along with the entry form, visit
http://www.jellyrollquilters.com/page/competition-1

A Cookie Exchange Tip

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Welcome to the last day of the Mistletoe Make and Bake event.

Quite possibly you could have 65 new recipes to add to your rotation. I have some new ones I am excited to try out. I find the more I bake the less I want to eat it. Crazy, I know!

Today’s designers are
Today’s topic is……. A Cookie Exchange Tip
Having a large family was not very conducive for many cookie exchanges. We always seemed to eat the cookies before we could get them traded. I also have a few people in my family that will not eat anything from “strangers.” So I started doing some research on this topic. I found there are many websites for the professional cookie exchange enthusiast. Cookieexchange.com is one of these sites. Robin started her exchanges in 1989. I thought I would pass on some of her suggestions. Make your cookie exchange a women’s only event. Do not eat the cookies during the exchange. Serve
hors d’oeuvres and adult beverages. That seems pretty simple.
I hope you enjoy exchanging cookies as much as I have enjoyed exchanging recipes.

Thank you to Sherri Falls and the other designers for inviting me along.

Have a wonderful holiday and as the song goes, “Don’t get caught under the mistletoe
with anyone else but _____ (you can fill in the blank here).”

LAST RECIPE
CLICK HERE for a printable version.

This recipe makes a ton of cookies, perfect to share.
The winner of my drawing on Thursday is
Karen said…

We have still have ornaments the kids (now 26 & 29) made in Kindergarten and first grade on the tree. Some have school pictures on them – these are priceless to us! Thank you for the recipe and for sharing about your ornaments and tree.
Karen, send  me an e-mail with your mailing address.

Holiday Tradition

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Welcome to another day of Mistletoe Make and Bake.
Have you made any of the wonderful recipes yet?
Today’s designers are

Today’s topic is…..
Holiday Tradition that has to be done no matter what!
When I was married and celebrated my first Christmas as a “grown-up!”, my tree was very bare. I grew up with a mother that loves to decorate. If you stood still very long, she would wrap garland around you and add bows. So I had a hard time with my version of Charlie Brown’s Christmas tree. My mom shared with me many of her ornaments as I made our holiday traditions our own.
I have always remembered stripping my mom’s tree of the decades of ornaments. She would have it no other way. I am a bit more selfish than my mother was. I want to keep my ornaments, so a new tradtion begins…….
Everything Thanksgiving  each of the kids recieve a new Christmas ornament with their initials and date on it. Once the tree is set up, they add their ornament to the tree.

As the kids grow up and set up their own homes, they will have their own ornaments to display on their tree. These items are much more than a trinket to hang on a tree limb. The ornaments are full of memories that reflect what each of the kids were “into” that year.
Possibly a Texas Ranger World Series ornament for Grant and Bo this year?

I am known to keep alot of “stuff.” You know those things you accumilate in everyday life, such as

KEYCHAINS
ID cards
(travis is 21 now. I don’t think I could use this Id card to identify him now)
PICTURES
playing ball on the field of dreams!
GOLF BAG TAGS
 
SPORT PINS and more..

Some years I even get ornaments.
 the year we were married

an ornament to celebrate the birth of each of the kids 

Gary and I trade ornaments. I get whatever comes with a “meal”,
but I love them just the same. 
 When the boys collected baseball cards, they gave me a “Head Coach” baseball card.
What do you do with all your treasures? If I can put a hook on it, it becomes an ornament.
I get to enjoy these and many more memories just like me mom did with me.
EACH year we all watch Charlie Brown’s Christmas together. I no longer worry that my
tree looks like poor ol’ Charlie Brown’s.
RECIPE
Each market we have these delicious ginger cookies from World Market.
My recipe for today is for a yummy dip to go along with these cookies.
CLICK HERE for a printable version.

Go-to Book

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Todays Mistletoe Make and Bake
designers of the day are:
ME – You are here.

Todays topic is…
What is your Go-To Holiday book?
I have made my own Go-To Book. Now I know there are all kinds of great writers, artists and designers out there. Pick one? I just couldn’t do it. Maybe it is the middle child in me.
Make my own book? I have notebooks full of decorating ideas for the holidays. You may remember that yesterday’s post was Holiday Sanity Savers. This notebook is definetely not a sanity saver because there is no way my home would ever look like the pages out of a magazine. Someday, I may be able to twitch my nose and make it happen but until then I will enjoy using the pages as design inspiration.
I am not worried about anyone knocking on my door to publish my work of art.

I have notebooks for all kinds of topics, yet my favorites are Christmas and Fourth of July.

I have a book of articles about people. Some I know and consider my friends, some I hope to someday meet.
A book of gardening ideas for when my thumb finally turns green.
A book of quilting ideas.
A book of baby (grandbaby?) ideas.

I hope I have inspired you to make your own Go-To book.
Supply List: Large 3 ring binder.
(I use the kind with locking rings so the notebook doesn’t accidentally come open and the pages spill everywhere.)
Sheet protectors
Favorite pages from all your magazines 
Pages from the pile of mail order catalogs such as Pottery Barn, Garnet Hill, Anthropologie, 
and many, many more.
Today is my turn to share a holiday project idea. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did making it.
Girl Scout Scarf
8.5″ x 60″
A girl scout is always prepared. This scarf is full of hidden pockets and sections to hide just about anything.

I picked out with the back of the scarf first. I really wanted to use the Oliver + S interlock, so the scarf would drape nicely. This fabric determined the length of the scarf, approx 60″.  I choose assorted prints at least 9″ wide.  I decided to challenge myself on this project and try some new techniques.

ZIPPERS: Yikes, egads! I haven’t done a zipper since I flunked my sewing project in 5th grade. Due to the great tutorials and Terry Atkinson’s colorful zippers I decided to make zipper pockets.
I added a bit of embroidery because I love the look but rarely sit still long enough to do any.
I used different feet on my machine and gave my #37 quilters’ foot a rest.
(feet used but you do not have to have them to make this project-Zipper foot on the zippers and walking foot for joining the interlock back to the pieced front.)
Supply List:
Backing 9″ x 60″ (backing can vary depending on the size of the person and the type of fabric.After making this one I think 6-7″wide is ample.)
Assorted fabrics for front
Additional items to personalize your scarf such as zippers, trims, medallions, floss.
Zipper Tutorials:
the pictures below are from the orphan block scarf shown below

Step1: Zipper and fabric right sides together.
Step 2: Add lining fabric right side together making a zipper sandwich.
Step 3: Sew along the edge of the fabric and zipper. Your piece will look like step 3.
Step 4: Fold the fabrics back wrong sides together and top stitch.

Repeat steps 1-4 on the other side of the zipper. Completed section shown above.
Once the zipper sections are completed, decide where you want the zipper pockets on your scarf. Continue joining fabrics together to make a 60″ long strip. Add assorted trims between fabrics paying close attention to placement on the scarf.

Do not add “things” to the middle section of the scarf. This area will be around the back of the neck and not seen. Add embroidery if needed.

Join the back to the front, right sides together, pinning sections in place.

Before sewing the scarf together, unzip one of the pocket sections half way. Sew the scarf all the way around the four sides. Trim the four corners to have nice sharp corners when the scarf is turned right side out. Use the opening at the zipper pocket to turn the scarf right side out. No hand work to close any openings.

Press the scarf. Top stitch above each of the zipper sections to create a pocket.
Ta Da! Just the perfect scarf to hold a spare key, cash, drivers license, chapstick, etc.
Additional ideas to Personalize your scarf:
1. Add pieces of repurposed clothes. I added the button placket from my son’s shirt making an additional pocket. (I love buttons but did not want to tackle buttonholes) This scarf is for his girlfriend. It will come in very handy next time he locks his keys in his car after a concert in the rain. Maybe I should go ahead and put a spare key in one of the pockets!

2. Add fringe made from interlock.
Keep in mind the size of the person you are making the scarf for so the added fringe will not make the scarf too long.
Cut an interlock section 9″ wide by 12″ long. Fold in half and sew along the 9″ side to hold in place. Mark every inch, sew from the bottom fold up 6″ on each of the markings. Cut  1/2″ from the sewn lines. Wet and toss in the dryer to fray the fringe. Size of fringe can vary according to what size you cut this section.

3. Monogram initials.
4. Add a loop and a covered button to roll the scarf into a handy take along.

This was FUN to do using the brad/button maker. This item should be on everyones’ Christmas list. (Stock # 001309 suggested retail $29.99)  It is on my list, I borrowed this one from Ducky. The package says (WARNING: Making custom brads and buttons has been shown to become addicting.)
Watch the tutorial on how easy and cool this tool is to use.

 

5. Sew with unusual fabrics such as snuggles, old sweaters, sweatshirts, and school t-shirts.
6. Tuck a gift card in the pockets to surprise the recipent.
7. Use orphan quilt blocks for scarf sections. I wanted to use BLISS flannel for the back of the scarf so, once again I started with the back to determine the scarf. This one is 43″long.
For printable directions, please CLICK HERE.
Leave a comment on my post today to win a chance at this adorable “cookie bag” of moda fabric. I will draw the yummy name and post the winner tomorrow morning.
Please make sure if you leave a comment that I have a way of getting
a hold of you if your name is drawn.